poly-sci 101

True definitions for common political terms
Now, it's my turn to perform a little surgery on the English language. But instead of trying to create misleading definitions, my aim is to provide more realistic definitions for modern political terms.


Anarcho-Capitalism - An extreme form of Libertarian-Capitalism, where ALL (or most) services currently provided by government would be provided by private companies (This even includes services such as police forces, military, and judicial agencies). The only government would be weak local communities (perhaps with some state and national affiliations) that would contract this work out to private companies.

Anarcho-Socialism - An extreme form of Libertarian-Socialism, where ALL companies would be directly controlled by employees through workers councils or other such arrangements. Most private property would be abolished, but everybody would be given a fair share of the 'collective property' for his own use. And most importantly, all this would be done without a central government. (or with a VERY limited coalition of communities)

Anarcho-Syndicalism - An combination of Socialism and Capitalism, where the basic properties of the capitalist system would be maintained, but ownership of corporations would be handed over to the worker's (or to their Unions). The basic corporate structure would remain in tact, with the one exception that workers would hold majority ownership of all corporations, and only people that actually work for a company (the laborers who belong to trade unions) would be allowed to own stock. This majority ownership of corporations by the workers will empower them to make all key decisions in that organization, and entitle them to share directly in the profits. All leadership positions in the corporation would be filled by the workers themselves who would return to their old jobs after their term of service has ended. All government positions (if any) would be filled in a similar manner. Such a system would eliminate the need for current trade restrictions, since it is unlikely that a worker-owned company would elect to ship their own jobs across the border.

Anarchy - This is defined by The American Heritage College Dictionary as "The theory or doctrine that all forms of government are unnecessary, oppressive, and undesirable and should be abolished." However there are various schools of Anarchist thought -- raging from pure Anarchism, which favors absolutely no centralized control, to those that wish to temper this complete chaos with some sort of order (such as Anarcho-Capitalist, Anarcho-Syndicalist, and Anarcho-Socialist)

Anti - Smoking Religion - Belief that nobody would ever die if they succeed in banning tobacco. They seem to believe that people will live forever if they don't smoke. But in all actuality, a smoker's life expectancy is only diminished by about 6% ... and even that cannot be attributed entirely to smoking. This is because smokers generally not "health conscience" people to begin with. If they were, they probably wouldn't be smoking in the first place. (You don't see too many smokers hangin' around the gym or at health food stores.)
It is also a belief that tobacco related illnesses cost the government money. In reality, it generates billions of dollars in tax revenues while at the same time saving billions of dollars in Social Security and Medicaid payments by killing smokers off early. It is much cheaper to pay for a 65-year-old's cancer treatment, than to pay for his prescriptions & social security for 6 more years, then still have to pay for his cancer treatment - or even worse - his Alzheimer's treatment.

Capitalism - The belief that every man should be able to keep the fruits of his own labor, without them being stolen by the government for re-distribution.

Communist Party - Socialist. Enjoys single party rule, and complete government control of production.

Democratic Party - Primarily, a belief in State-Socialism heavily tempered by State-Capitalist beliefs along with some anti-nationalist, anti-religious, and pro-environmental tendencies. They favor control of the government by 2 parties, that way they can have somebody to blame when thing go wrong. Enjoys block votes from gays, teachers, blacks, immigrants, welfare recipients, members of the press, NAACP members, environmentalist, pro-choicers, Union leaders, and people who hate Republicans.

Dictator - An evil man who maintains power by intimidation and force, and refuses to obey the United States.

Educational System - An opportunity for special interest groups to re-program children. The prime obstacle to this agenda is the fact that local and state governments run the schools. This makes it difficult to enact these programs over the whole nation, since you have to convince every legislature and every local school board that you are right. But don't worry - both Republicans and Democrats are looking into ways for the federal government to 'improve' local school systems.

Fascism - To understand this term better, let’s look at the dictionary definition:
Fascism - A system of government marked by centralization of authority under a dictator, stringent socioeconomic controls, suppression of the opposition through terror and censorship, and typically a policy of belligerent nationalism and racism.
Contrast this to the definition of another political system.
Monarchy - An autocracy governed by a monarch who usually inherits the authority.
Although these two terms are often treated as separate ideologies, I really can’t figure out how “Fascism” differs from “Monarchy” in any significant way. Both are ruled by a single dictator, who often is strongly nationalistic. Both heavily suppress their opposition (as do most governments). Both control the economy, to some extent. The only notable difference is that a “monarchy” is typically concerned with bloodlines, while fascism is generally founded around a particular political ideology. But a "fascist" government could easily transform into a Monarchy after upon the death of its principle leader. I suppose the real reason for the separate moniker was to differentiate the leaders of embryonic Italian and German Empires of the 1930’s from the "royal" leadership of the British Empire, which had already conquered a large part of the world.


Free Election - Supposedly, an election in which people are free to choose the candidate of their choice, completely unencumbered by the government. Of course, no such thing has ever truly existed, since all elections are regulated by the party(s) currently in power.

Full life - Living to be old enough to develop Alzheimer's and multiple other ailments, and die a degrading death in a pool of their own feces in a nursing home (which they pay outrageous fees to stay in.... usually resulting in all off their assets being sold).
This luxury is being mandated by politicians that wish to guarantee a safe world, in which nobody will die prematurely from their lifestyle choices.

Fundamentalism - Belief that government should be based on the fundamental principles of one particular set of religious beliefs, and that government should be intolerant of other religious views and to secularism. While this term is normally only used to describe Islamic nations, it can be argued that all societies posses some sort of Fundamentalist beliefs. (See: Religious-Right)

KKK - Group of people trying to maintain the dominance of European culture in our society.

Liberal - Used to mean : "Free from narrow prejudice; open minded, especially, open to the reception of new ideas or proposals of reform.". Now means "Full of hatred for past Ideas, and completely intolerant of the people that still believe in them. Socialist." Most liberal arguments basically boil down to "Shut up in the name of open-mindedness and free speech!". The liberal observes evils in society, and then attempts to remedy the problem with an even greater evil.

Libertarian Party - Free-Market Capitalist. The U.S. Constitution is their bible. They favor multi-party rule of government, and believe that the state's power should be extremely limited. Receives block votes from people who have taken the time to actually read the constitution, and people who hate Democrats & Republicans

Libertarian-Capitalism - The most prevalent form of libertarianism in the United States (When one hears the term 'Libertarian', you can be pretty sure they arte actually referring to this type). It is a belief in free-markets (little or no state intervention in the economy) and a strong belief in personal freedoms. Governments would only provide basic services (police, a judiciary system, and military). For the most part, this was the type of government supported by most of the founding fathers of the United States, but over the years our system has succumbed to various State-Socialist and State-Capitalist elements.

Libertarian-Socialism - The type of Libertarianism supported by people such as George Orwell and Noam Chomsky (more or less - it's difficult to quantify a person's personal beliefs in such a way). They despise oppression in all it's forms - whether it comes from an oppressive government, or from all-powerful corporations - and therefore seek to suppress all forms of power while at the same time allowing for a large numbers of personal freedoms. Like their Libertarian-Capitalist counterparts, they believe that there is a legitimate role for government in society (police, a judiciary system, etc.), but wish to expand the power of the state slightly so that the state has the power to promote economic equality. To hear a better explanation of this system than I could ever give myself, download this file. (This file is quite large(24MB), so I suggest that you save the entire thing to your hard drive before attempting to listen to it -- To do this, right-click on the link and select Save Target as....)

Machiavellian Politics - Modern Politics. (See: The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

Moral Majority - Neither "Moral" nor a "Majority". (See: Religious Right)

NAACP - Kinda' like the KKK without the white sheets, but with more political clout.

Native Americans - 1) People whose ancestors immigrated here over 10,000 years ago, and who were forced from their homes by European immigrants. 2) People who were born in the US, and are being driven from their neighborhoods by modern immigration.

Narrow Minded Bigot - One who does not speak Newspeak as their sole language. Individuals who are oldthinkers.

Neo-colonization - The modern means of colonization. The whole reason nations of the past desired colonies was so they could obtain the goods produced therein. (England colonized India to obtain tea, and South America to obtain labor)

We realized some time ago that attempting to govern a colony with too much work. A revolution could disrupt the flow of supplies, and turn these economic assets into economic liabilities. So today we allow our colonies to believe they are governing themselves, but we maintain puppet governments in order to protect our interest. It doesn't really matter who makes that laws - as long as those leaders allow us to take the produce of their county's labor through 'trade'.

People often complain about 'trade deficits', but this really isn't a bad thing. Do you really think that the British Empire really worried about having a 'trade deficit' with its colonies? I think not. That was the whole point of colonization - to take their stuff! Just think of where America would be if Japan didn't make our cars for us. We would only have half as many cars as we do today. And everybody wants a car, don't they?

Organized Crime - Groups that make profit from actions deemed "illegal"... and these groups also posses enough political clout to make sure these actions are kept illegal.

If prostitution, drugs and gambling were made legal, organized would loose their primary reason for being, and would be force to become a legitimate business. But, that would mean they wouldn't be allowed to kill their competitors or charge outrageous prices for there services.....Plus... They would have to put up with government regulation, and they would have to start paying taxes ....that just wouldn't be good for business!!!

Open-Minded -. One who vigorously attacks anyone that isn't as closed-minded as themselves.

Prejudice - Acknowledging that there are differences between the various races and cultures, and preferring to be among people of like interest and culture.

Propaganda - The American Heritage® Dictionary defines this word as:
prop•a•gan•da - n. The systematic propagation of a doctrine or cause or of information reflecting the views and interests of those advocating such a doctrine or cause.
When correctly used, this word can be used to describe any advertising campaign. But to most people, this word implies lies and deceitful information. Our media often accuses our foreign enemies of practicing propaganda - a statement which is a form of propaganda in and of itself. Most often, propaganda consist of simple catch-phrases which are easily digested by the masses.

Racist - Belief that race is more important than culture. Would rather be among ignorant members of his own race, than intelligent members of a different race.

Religious-Right - Belief that government should enforce some of the basic fundamental principles of Christianity. (See: Fundamentalism)

Republican Party - Primarily, a belief in State-Capitalism heavily tempered by Libertarian and free-market beliefs along with some pro-nationalist, pro-religious, and militaristic tendencies. They favor control of the government by 2 parties, that way they can have somebody to blame when things go wrong. Enjoys block votes from Businessmen, Christians, Hunters, KKK, pro-lifers, and people who hate Democrats.

Rule of Law - A state in which all government officials obey the same laws that they lay down for their subjects. Of course, this is very rare - most often being found in countries that have recently gone through a revolution. However, this generally has a lifespan shorter than that of the average Bohrium atom.

Sexual Misconduct -. A charge which must be taken seriously if the accused is conservative, but should be carefully examined if the accused is liberal.

Since liberals are the ones that created most of these laws in the first place, it is unthinkable that any of them would be guilty of committing this sort of crime themselves. The only explanation is that they are being harassed by gutter sluts that only want to become famous by harming an honest politician.

But, of course, if the charge is brought against a politician with conservative beliefs, we must applaud the honest woman who had the courage to stand up against these evil tyrants.

If you need to see examples of this policy in action, just compare how differently Clarence Thomas, Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, and Bob Packwood were treated by the press and the so-called "woman's rights" groups ... Clarence Thomas was nearly denied a seat on the supreme court because he flirted with a co-worker... Bob Packwood was hounded to do the "honorable thing" and resign ... Ted Kennedy is, of course, a Kennedy - what else would you expect from royalty? ... and Bill Clinton was simply a victim of a vast "right-wing conspiracy".

State-Socialism- The belief all members of society should receive a portion of what that country produces -- with this distribution of wealth under the direct control of the state. There are various schools of thought on just how equal those 'portions' should be - and how exactly redistribution should be achieved. At the very least, a Socialist wants to make sure all of their fellow citizens are 'cared for' by the state, and at most, they want to institute a system under which everyone receives equal pay - regardless of what kind of work they do. But in either case, they feel that centralized control of the economy by some sort of national government is the best way to supervise this redistribution. Under such a system, every able-bodied person would have a job and those who couldn't work (elderly, disabled, etc) would be cared for by the state.

State-Capitalism - A capitalist system which is heavily influenced by the State. This differs from traditional 'Free-Market Capitalism' in that the State is permitted to enact trade-barriers, give tax-breaks to certain companies, regulate industries, 'bail-out' companies and investors that run into financial trouble, and engage in huge government expenditures in the private sector -- In short, the current American system. (although the American system also has many State-Socialist elements as well)

Welfare - 3rd party theft. Welfare is the act of stealing form the workers to feed the lazy and uneducated. This practice is most common in State-Socialist systems.

World Peace - Single world government